I was on a walk down an unfamiliar neighborhood street. I had hoped for peace and quiet, but two people joined me. As they talked I thought about what I would rather hear, but probably never will.
She: “The people in that house have been here for about three years. They have a son who lives in B– and a daughter who just got accepted into Yale on a scholarship for fencing”
What I want to hear: “Listen to the doves….cuckoo-coo. And those other bird calls are quail.”
He: “Why did these [other] people build their house to face at an angle like that? It makes no sense. They would rather look at their neighbors’ kitchen window than at the canyon!”
What I want to hear: “Feel the warm sunshine and the soft breeze.”
She: “This woman has lived here for about 20 years. Her daughter lives with her now to take care of her. Her boyfriend is from U–”
What I want to hear: “I know the woman who lives here. She has such a cheerful house and her smile is so sweet. You’d like the way her eyes shine when she tells stories of her past.”
I like a quiet walk without conversation at all. Talking would be tolerable if only people would talk about the things I love.
Happy things. Beautiful things. Gratefulness and appreciations. Simple pleasures.
I want to get off
the merry-go-round of adult life
and just be held like a baby
while I drink a warm bottle of milk
and fall peacefully to sleep.
I want to spend my days hearing no words
Letting time slip by
While I observe and marvel
At the little things of life
Like the flickering light from the ceiling fan above me
Like the soft brush of air moving around the house
And thunder speaking loud and clear in an ancient language that everyone knows.
As I drift off to sleep, I hope I have one of those good dreams
Where I can float and fly and swim through the air like a fish
I crouch down and then spring up into the air,
Sailing up as if I were a paper airplane;
Then floating gently back down.
Such springiness seems so natural to me, as if I’ve always been this way –
but something in real life prevents it from being activated
something like gravity.
For a few months now I have been too busy to enjoy creativity. I can’t see when this fast-paced lifestyle will end so I need a different way to reach out to people. I deal with autism challenges every day, so there shouldn’t be any shortage of blogging material there.
I have decided to change the direction of my blog to simple sharing of my autistic thoughts and feelings. I guess the reason for sharing is to feel less alone in my strange little world, and to hear from others who understand. And sometimes, all kinds of people will understand, not just the autistic.