Give Yourself the Childhood You Deserve

Yours Truly

What is it meant to be?
Falling in love with the ones who love you the most
Exploring and Discovering
Mimicking and Learning
Feeling proud and excited about every accomplishment
Being silly and sharing laughter
Feeling optimistic, like ‘the world is your oyster’
Spending time every day simply enjoying motion, sounds, sights and textures
Having a friend or sibling to play with

When you’ve not had the childhood you needed, it can be healing to start giving it to yourself today.
As much as you are able, allow yourself to be the happy child now that you wanted to be then.
It’s not only a great way to enhance your healing – it’s also a way to discover who you are.
Try it.  Please share some of your own ideas.  I’ll share some I have done.

1. Splash in a creek and throw rocks in the water.
2. Get out the pots and pans and other kitchen stuff to make music.
3. Make paper airplanes and other paper toys.
4. Fling jello onto the wall to see if it sticks.
5. Skate around the floor on socks to some favorite music.
6. Pick wildflowers (weeds) and put them in a little vase or glass.
7. Make lots of fun sound effects when you’re driving.
8. Make a fort and read a book inside it by flashlight.
9. Squish mud between your toes.
10. Run a stick against a fence and feel the clickety-clack.

That was fun just listing ideas.  Here are some more ideas:
1. Put a straw in a glass of milk and blow bubbles.
2. Display your artwork on the fridge.
3. When you make a list, instead of checking things off, give yourself shiny foil stars.
4. Shoot rubberbands to your heart’s content.
5. Sprout a bean in a little cup of dirt.
6. Walk backwards to the mailbox.

While allowing yourself to be the child you wanted to be, you’ll also be the parent you needed. Rejoice with your child inside.  Praise every little step of life. 

How asking questions got me back on track

I was doing my work as quickly as possible, yet my co-worker had already finished hers and was relaxing in the other room. I worked fervently, all alone, for some time. I could feel myself getting angry. I didn’t want to suffer all the negative effects of anger, so I stopped and asked myself some questions.

What’s wrong?

It’s not fair that I have more work!

Don’t you like your work?

Well, yes. I really do like it.

Would you feel better if someone came and finished this work for you?

Well, no. I enjoy the satisfaction of finishing my work and knowing I did a good job. I take pride in my accomplishments.

Then “having more work than her” doesn’t seem to be the problem. What is it that you want?

I feel all alone, and I don’t like that. She shouldn’t leave me all alone. (I feel silly. I sound like a child.)

Would you like to take a break and just go chat with her and enjoy her company? (This question seemed to come more from God than from me.)

Actually, that sounds good. It sounds refreshing. I’ll go see if she’s feeling up to having some company. The work can wait. There’s freedom here to take a break right now.

I find it amazing that I thought I was angry, but upon questioning, I discovered that I was just needy. I thought I was suffering an injustice, but really I was just lonely. I felt a battle coming on, but it turned out to be a desire for companionship.

I joined my co-worker and said, “I just want to take a break and chat with you for a few minutes. Is that okay with you?” I told her that I was starting to feel lonely, and she was surprised, but glad that I came seeking her company. I am not a talker, so I asked her how things are going for her, and she was happy to tell me. I thanked her for a nice break and left feeling rejuvenated, ready to finish my work, praising God for his help in asking myself questions.

Feel free to share any courteous comments and thoughts. Thanks.

In a Perfect World

My everyday life is full of opportunities to contemplate eternal life simply by 
asking myself, “Could this happen in a perfect world?”
For example 
     I rise early and perform my morning routine carefully to make sure I 
get to work on time.  I ask myself, “In a perfect world, could there be such a thing as a job to go to? Could there be the weight of knowing I ought to be on time?”

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that the next life will be perfect.
What I want to know is:  What does that really mean?
Does it mean we will have magic powers to make everything happen
just as we think it should?  I don’t think logic supports that idea.
So, if you will, please join me in my contemplation…

First of all, jobs exist because someone had an idea, which turned into a goal,
and the goal required the help of many people in order to be accomplished.
Thus, job opportunities opened up, and people like me benefit from that.

I work at a non-profit organization.  Their goal is to provide the right environment and leadership to foster and nurture inspiration and personal growth.  Many people give of their time and talent to make this goal happen – some are paid and some are volunteers.

It’s not hard for me to imagine that in a perfect world someone would want to create a similar kind of place for the same reasons.  So, Yes, there most certainly will be jobs and job opportunities in a perfect world.

Next, in a perfect world, might I still need to make a commitment to a job?  Could a job still require me to arrive on time every day?  Absolutely yes.  All it takes is a timetable and/or a deadline.

And now comes the reason behind this contemplation in the first place…
I know how easy it is to feel a little unhappy about the way that my job interferes 
with my desire to live spontaneously.  I like my work, but I do have to use self-control to get myself there on time.  In a perfect world, could there be anything to cause a feeling of reluctance to go to my job?  Absolutely yes!  All it takes is one simple desire. For example, the desire to read, the desire to continue a good conversation, the desire to play with a new kitten in the house, or the desire to photograph a beautiful sunrise. 

If I still have to exercise self-control and self-denial in a perfect world, then my idea of what is perfect begins to change.  Not only that, but now I realize that timetables and deadlines are not intrinsically bad.  In fact, even if I don’t commit to a job, I’m not free from timetables and deadlines.  I could be enjoying a vacation at the beach, but my favorite restaurant has opening and closing hours.  If I want to interact with people at all, I need to coordinate my plans with their plans, and that takes scheduling, which requires self-control. 

Self-control can feel rather difficult sometimes.  In fact, self-control can be so difficult that I begin to feel stressed because of it.  Unpleasant feelings and difficult decisions are part of being human.  They are part of learning and experimenting. Even in a perfect world, we will need to learn how to deal with disappointment and reluctance.  I could think this is a real bummer, but I prefer to see it as an invitation to step out of the poor-me victim mentality, and willingly step into a teachable and empowering moment. 

These are the moments when I talk to myself and to God, asking “what can I learn from this?”  I gave this some thought and realized that I can change my disappointment (at letting go of a desire in order to make it to work on time) into glad anticipation if I just pray and ask God for another opportunity at a better time, when I can say Yes. And then I go to work with a happy heart, knowing that God loves to provide for his children. He is both able and willing!

Your courteous comments are welcome!